Ok! I’m out in the world again. I’m in Phuket, Thailand. That means it’s time to get back to diligent blogging and adventure sharing.

I’d like to kick things off with one of the more self-entertaining things I do: taking notes on random things that happen. These notes are unedited, exactly as I typed them in the moment. They may very well have been random tweets, but instead I present them here.

This is a running project for me. You can find the previous iterations here, here, and here.

I literally LOL’d a few times while reading these back (gosh, I really do entertain myself), so I hope you enjoy. Expect new blog posts soon.

  • My anaconda don’t want none unless you hold the door, son. #hodor
  • You can always tell the karaoke purists when sweet Caroline comes on.
  • We are nations thinky bits
  • July
  • July it’s on
  • Boomp, shmett, shmapp
  • Now that we’re in the same boat, we can rock it together.
  • A mysterious itch that needs to be scratched
  • Some day it’ll break through all the sausages.
  • Graffiti in this bathroom says: Trump 2016 Let the bitch burn! RIP USA!
  • Stripperaoke at Devils point in Portland on Sundays
  • Dance floor economics
  • Jazzbones is what would happen if the nazis had won the war.
  • She was an angel seeking chaos he was a demon seeking peace
  • So it goes.
  • I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
  • Crate spa200, fender spl-1226 (2x)
  • 6th grade science teacher got stung by a bee in his nutsack
  • She was wooed by my charming incompetence. At least I have that going for me.
  • The amount of time that you have, fill it with stuff.
  • Shawarmageddon
  • I hate the idea of keeping the peace for the sake of keeping the peace. Hold people accountable for their actions. It happens? No, it happens when you fuck up. Don’t create a scenario where fuck ups are allowed.
  • Loud and clear this is not my band.
  • If AZ dies tonight: “some may remember me as the guy who was jerking off with women’s underwear on his head, but I say nay…”
  • Bass + violin
  • I get in trouble sometimes because I always fight idiots trying to marginalize entire groups of people. I will fight you every damn time. We’re not cool. GTFO.
  • It might not always seem like it, but I’d be stable and secure for the right woman. 💯
  • Mateo duct taping a camcorder to the side of his head like a primitive GoPro
  • Some useful, made-up statistics:
  • Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
  • Relationships are 49% finding the right person and 51% timing.
  • Communication is 70% body language, 20% vocal tonality, and 10% words.
  • Hope is an illusion, unless made realistic by action.
  • What dat mouf do doe?
  • 250. Fuck this game.
  • No there’s no dairy. He got a sharpei or whatever.
  • Sneeze feel good
  • My celeb lookalike is Edward Snowden.
  • Move girl, light your farts on fire
  • Kimchi quesadilla is not a first date food
  • Genital strife
  • I put my Jenny on your genitals
  • Keeping regular is one of my biggest turn ons. -AZ
  • Bendak Startwister: intergalactic entertainer
  • That damn banana phone
  • Shawn is taking his mickeys to bed because he classy
  • You may be an idiot but you’re MY idiot.
  • That’s all you can ask for in life: to be someone’s idiot.
  • Tired of those awkward little wieners?
  • I accidentally for high and went to a hookah bar?
  • Oops
  • An empty set of skin
  • Thank you for understanding me as a skinless man trapped between timelines
  • Einstein was just a theory. No one knows if he even existed!
  • My ticker is broken
  • Psyduck: behind his vacant eyes lies an unending vortex of pain.
  • What are your knowledges?
  • Thinking about thinking
  • About thinking
  • What is reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch
  • Awkward gyrations hourly
  • 1.21 jiggle watts
  • Ultimately, we’re all alone.
  • It jizz what it jizz
  • If I ever gave you the impression that I don’t know what I want, I apologize for my lack of clarity. I know exactly what I want.
  • I’d like to redeem my voucher now
  • Thank you for reminding me I’m awesome. I forget sometimes.
  • I’m just checking me out. Not really, I’m just here. And now I’m outta here!
  • Sometimes people think they know a lot about football, but actually they’ve just played a lot of Madden.
  • Because here’s what’s up: Shawn is the best roommat/
  • Circling Fantoon with those extra E tanks
  • Counterclockwise is confusing
  • Jake Nix: Pour Choices
  • Excitation of cylindrical members via vibration.
  • Moose has a pod.
  • My boy made out with the ball girl. Good for him!
  • Bus ride home was fucking ROUGH. Sweet Jesus.
  • My body is expelling demons
  • Demons I say!
  • That ihop bathroom had no idea what was coming for it
  • Lo There: The musical equivalent of busting out your corset
  • Meat paws
  • Fee fi fo fum, something something something rum
  • Booze clues
  • YouTube page rookie and the vet
  • My breath is so dry and meaty. #jerkychew
  • Ab grasser
  • Nikki’s very averse reaction to finding out I’m Rhu
  • You can catch a fly with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly.
  • A boy in the yard is worth two in the bush.
  • As long as it takes to jax, I will wiggity.
  • I’m gonna blog all over this blog.
  • Totes dotes
  • Farmer chords
  • She isn’t yours. It’s your turn.
  • “You can’t bang all the fat girls, but damn do I try.” -Drunk guy, Tacoma
  • Shawn’s the cheeseballiest
  • Snake: Don’t let it touch its butt
  • Hatfish
  • So, are y’all chicks or what? So, do you got boobies? Aw man I just heard about those. Seems tight. Ok bye.
  • We will rock the basement off of this multipurpose office.
  • Bring your Jammie’s and your hot cocoa. Let’s get cuddly.
  • HBO: hot bitches only. I got a subscription (d-bag impression)
  • Sing it girl
  • Adam Wolbert’s nickname is flip flop
  • Hi I’m flip flop I’ve had some beers
  • Ur mom is getting out of a marriage. That doesn’t mean you should try to make her happy.
  • You can’t keep people with no shame down
  • Why can’t I quit you, Ken Bone?
  • Yeah, I’m Rhubarb. What else?
  • Sitting on the floor of our apartment, we can do better.
  • My new nickname is Slam Jam
  • Documentary: chasing bubbles
  • Daniel b
  • In terms Imodium clipping my tier tails no here’s waddup my toe nails not til wait after my friend Andy has his birthday
  • I’m real fucked up. Happy b day Andy.
  • Basicall fuck you Andy fuck youvandcall the fuck you birthday shit
  • Shit was wack
  • Big sky effects pedal
  • TC electronics red helicon?
  • Woman whose daughter is at UPS: You’re a Tacoma guy. Confident, nice, laid back.
  • Elf: that shit’s my shit.
  • A state of permanent impermanence
  • The mind follows the body. The body follows the mind.
  • Middlevale
  • A whole lot of nothing when you wish there was something
  • Jill Scott
  • Jake Nix is an awesome idiot.
  • 85 zombies at the cabana
  • Happy Halloween were gonna die
  • Butt louge
  • The funniest thing I be ever seen
  • Pusher man
  • NACHO, last night was crazy. Too many funny stories. Call me. Gotta tell
  • You’ve gotta work out your body so you feel good naked, but you’ve also gotta work out your emotions so you feel good naked
  • Internet? God doesn’t use the Internet!
  • Tracking an album is hard. Lets do better tomorrow
  • Dri fit moisture wicking Nike condoms
  • #youthgroupfellatio
  • I’m just trying to child’s pose my farts out real quick
  • Concrescence
  • YOU KNOW I CANT STOP YELLING. THATS JUST HOW I TALK.
  • The Weenie Bosom
  • We want to keep you fuckable, so we’re not going to tell anybody about that.
  • Some words make no sensicals.
  • Girth is a word with only one application.
  • This IS what it looks like, however…
  • Upgrade your imagination
  • As useless as Stir of Echoes 2 starring Rob Lowe
  • They don’t do what we want. They take what we want.
  • Fun sized and adjustable
  • You were like human pizza rat
  • Relish is made of little tiny cubules. Ketchup is just flat.
  • Bob or Sam or tweed or poop
  • The things you need to know before going to Thailand
  • It’s a grind on my pati
  • Most confusing airport experience ever!
  • I’m in a weird place
  • Koh phi phi blanco hostel
  • Some guy named Knife from Qatar gave the guys I met today blow and they snorted it in his hotel room. That’s not sketchy at all.

And that’s all folks! The conclusion of this set of notes means I can start another one, so stay tuned. I’ll blog all about Thailand and travel and all that good stuff.

 

Much love,

Jake