I keep notes on my phone. I think it’s an important practice because so many funny/amazing/strange things are happening constantly that it would be impossible to remember every little thing. I keep a hand written journal for a lot of the details and deeper thoughts, but often I don’t carry that hefty leather-bound tome around with me so I use an Evernote file on my phone to write down the little things I want to remind myself of later. I’ve decided to share my file with you so you can see some of the random freak show thoughts running through my maladjusted head.

Be warned! A good chunk of this might not make sense to you. There are some vagaries and an occasional omitted name. Some of these notes were taken while I was intoxicated. Some are embarrassing, incriminating, or too honest. A couple of them I don’t even remember what they mean. But I still think it’s worth showing the unadulterated truth. I present to you the (mostly) unedited list:

  • The indescriminate cracks in the paint in a Rubens, not having the courtesy to crack in a way congruent to the art.
  • Ancient civilizations poor choice of hats
  • Depictions of Jesus with a shaved chest
  • Gratuitous use of nipples
  • Odd prevalence of adults on scooters
  • Sentilo sono- German ska band
  • Baseball in Bayern- teaching Germans how to swing a bat is a novelty
  • Getting drunk with Jamie my roomie and some randos
  • At what point do you stop being a tourist?
  • Chelsea: the new Jamie? Gotta make new friends
  • A businessman in a $500 suit smoking at an outdoor restaurant table while a nearby hobo with no feet drags himself along on his knees begging for change in his cup and two obviously American frat boys in SnapBack hats and lederhosen walk drunkenly by at noon.
  • Augustiner: the girls from the hostel up on the table throwing pretzels at jerk Brits
  • Natalie heart Christian the security guard
  • Zoe had an ex boyfriend who was a naked butler
  • Me and Canada waiting for (someone) to finish fucking
  • Walk around until you hear people speaking English.
  • Canada. Making the proof like Steve from Kent a long time ago.
  • Oktoberfest is rad. I am drunk.
  • I rode a Canadian and chugged a beer
  • I sm crunk, must remember women don’t care about the baseball
  • Zoe, super cute and would have fucked Pete the New Zealander if he wasn’t so socially awkward.
  • Staying out all night and sleeping in a bush
  • The feeling of change while moving hostels
  • Sarah and Lynn. Lost in the hostel, back to Oktoberfest on accident. Lesbians?
  • In bed ALL DAMN DAY
  • Resistance to change… don’t want to leave Munich
  • Dachau is fucking brutal. I feel sick. All I want to do now is punch a Nazi in the face.
  • Song: I want you only you (from the front and behind)
  • A German girl singing German songs. I don’t know the songs. So damn cute anyway.
  • Last kiss…
  • Drew from Seattle knows Lauren from Tacoma. I think I know her?
  • Almost missed the train to Füssen
  • Idiot American visibly pissed off that the bathroom costs fifty cents. The sense of entitlement is crazy. I feel bad for his wife/girlfriend.
  • Waiting for the Hohenschwangau tour. I wish I could share this trip with (someone from home). Daydreaming about going back, what I would say. This is a dangerous line of thought, but God damn do I miss her every day of my life.
  • Yeah I’m just straight up eating Nutella waiting for my Neuschwanstein tour to fire
  • Gluhwein hittin the spot
  • In some people’s story lines, I’m the villain. I promise it’s not like that. I always did my best.
  • Everyone smokes here. I want a cigarette but I shouldn’t start. Must resist!
  • Little kid cares more about kicking a leaf than about Neuschwanstein
  • Spending time in the past prevents me from living in the present. Obviously I know that, but apparently I need a reminder. Or is being sad ok because it’s a natural feeling? How do you notice the end of that feeling?
  • Real lonely today
  • Draft of a postcard: I’m out here in the world thinking about how fun it would be to share these experiences with you. Hope you’re doing well. 🙂
  • Blog post about road loneliness?
  • Bayern group train ticket is cheaper. Best to find at least one other. Thanks, Tiago. Went Füssen to Salzburg for €14
  • Julia Crabmuffin has morphed to something new: Amy Scarlett. Pasqual is a vampire who feeds on erotic energy. He’s a recurring character of mysterious origins.
  • Refugees at the Austrian border
  • Sometimes I walk places when I don’t have to because I can’t figure out the public transit. 3 miles through Salzburg with my pack. Fuck. That was a hike
  • Rossbräu zwickl is award winning. What’s a zwickl?
  • Collecting postcards and coasters
  • Itchy poopzkid
  • Dammit Peter Airbnb
  • Mozart coffee. 8€ and totally worth it
  • Edvard Munch was so emo. Coool paintings though. This is cool. When else can I see this stuff? I like art.
  • Ich habe hunger
  • Erika asking me if I’m a racist
  • Erika was terrible
  • Sweden was cool. Can’t believe I did that. Gotta do the weird shit while I’m young I guess.
  • I’ve done a lot of sitting in cafes and things.
  • Have you ever played chess on lsd? Longest 7 hours of my life.
  • Sparty I want to swim in a pool full of semen
  • Three jesuses larping
  • Budgie smugglers
  • Bar with bars inside the bar. Fucking rad! Szimplakert
  • Do you want a carrot?
  • Sitting in a bathtub
  • French dude hitting on my hostel roomie. She doesn’t like it, but is too polite to tell him to go away. I kind of don’t dont
  • Hungarian food is chicken, orange paprika gravy, egg noodles, sour cream
  • The slow deterioration of a relationship.
  • Club time with Tony the Aussie. His catchphrase is “See what happens.”
  • Ass and charming
  • Kolbice meat ice cream cone
  • Teenagering it at the light show fountain
  • Some grade A affection that I really didn’t mean to get
  • The world snot rich but it’s rich of some things and it’s rich of possibilities. -Daniel
  • Sometimes you just don’t remember
  • Sid from ice age I look like?
  • Dragon cult ponzi scheme. I am the Emperor of the Dragon’s Temple
  • Kozel in Russian means sheep, but not the sheep that swims. -Lithuanian guy
  • Two hippie ladies on the train with a dog that slept on my foot
  • Two people fucking in my hostel dorm room. Talked about messing with them but actually just gave them their privacy and went to go meet new people in the lobby.
  • Lebowski bar berlin, a night out with a dude friend. It’s good to just chill with a dude friend and no ladies.
  • The bends + fight club
  • Fantasia + ok computer
  • IOU to Matt: talk to some pretty girls because he pole danced
  • 20-2-8 on warschauer straddle bridge
  • Some people see half full, some people see a penis.
  • I’m a classy motherfucker blowing my nose on a paper towel from the trash.
  • No drugs for me thanks
  • Norwegian girls. Winging for Matt and Lewis.
  • Ummmm. The beerer I get the lower the standards?
  • No. I am smart. SMRT
  • SOMETIMES YOU LOSE TRACK OF WHATS GOING ON
  • Didn’t mean to all caps
  • dude snores like a champ but motherfucker needs to roll over #hostrls
  • Tempelhof Freiheit: A good daddy flying kites with his daughters

So that brings us up to today. Hopefully you learned something or were at least somewhat entertained. This is a pretty random type of post so let me know what you think! Fire away in the comments.